The place where pizza comes to be written about

The first pizza of a new era!

Yippee! Whizz! Bang! Eeeeek!

Happy new year! And indeed it is a happy new year for some of you, although God only knows why. Perhaps you have a fulfilling job or a healthy bank balance or work somewhere sunny or something, in which case, what are you even DOING HERE? Why do you even need the quirky mixture of irreverence and recipe tips that is 12 Inch Pete Treat? You’ve already got it going on! You don’t need this! Go on, be off with you! Sorry if I seem to be in a bad mood, but in the last half an hour alone I have been emailed pictures of a man in a Santa hat with a ruptured scrotum, and some CCTV footage of a woman defecating in a supermarket aisle. WHY?

Yes, it’s 2012 (insert “which means the world is going to end this year” style comment here) and I have started it as I mean to go on – with a pizza. Yesterday, you see, was January 3rd, which is deemed by those in the know to be “the most depressing day of the year”, and it’s fair to say that I didn’t exactly skip home whistling Dixie and yelping cheery halloos to woodland creatures as I passed them gleefully by. It pissed down with rain, I felt like crap – and when that happens, ladies and germs, only a stomach full of pizza is going to ease my woes.

So I decided to go for the supermarket option. No, don’t worry, I haven’t gone mad, it’s just that it’s that time of year when fiduciary concerns (rather than my appalling diet) lead to a tightening of the old belt, and besides, me and The Better Half have decided to boycott Papa John’s for a while, while they attempt to address their “total inability to get a customer’s order right” gremlins to a satisfactory degree. So I went to Co-Op, picked up one of their fancy thin crust margueritas (which come with a dusting of pesto and baby plum tomatoes) and pimped it with some of our left-over New Year’s Eve salami and some turkey breast, and then gave it a little injection of tabasco just so that I’d know it meant business. I then baked it on my fancy new pizza stone that I got for Christmas. And here is the resultant pizza, nestling snugly on my legs.

Legs: model's own

Well, I can report that my first pizza of 2012 was solid, tasty without being spectacular, and lifted me out of my rain-soaked ennui into a much heartier mindframe, accompanied as it was by a bottle of Chilean Shiraz and the excellent Deadheads, which is such a good comedy zombie caper that I decided to watch it, and indeed plug it in this blog, a second time. I am now officially Twitter chums with some of the cast, and say what you like, you don’t get that kind of after-film service with Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Technically, the first pizza of the new era for this blog and its affiliates was the Iberica (chorizo and black pudding) snarfed by TBH on January 2nd at Rocca of Dulwich Village, but we forgot to take a photo of it. She seemed to enjoy it.

Right then, onwards and upwards. I’m intending to now not have any pizza for a month, but a) that won’t be stopping me from writing on the subject, and b) I tried to go a year without pizza once and lasted three weeks, so I don’t hold out much hope for my succeeding.


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3 Responses

  1. Tony Pitts says:

    I can’t eat supermarket pizza from anywhere but Asda I’m afraid. Their 14″ stone baked base with scorcher toppings and a little chilli sauce drizzled on is a thing of utter magnificence. Every Friday I drive past a co-op, tesco and sainsburys to go stand in a queue with the good people of Biggleswade to have one freshly prepared by one of Asda’s expert pizza technicians*

    *pallid & disinterested looking housewife scratting out her minimum wage

  2. Si Cunningham says:

    On the subject of supermarket pizzas, I bought one of the new ‘M Kitchen’ stuffed-crust ranges from Morrisons* after my mum cooked an inedible gammon joint on New Year’s Day (it wasn’t really her fault.)
    I must say, they’ve really nailed the supermarket stuffed-crust angle, and the toppings were really mouthwatering. If I were to have shut my eyes, I could have easily thought I was in a Pizza Hut restaurant. I should have gone as far as to have sneezed in some coleslaw to give that authentic ‘salad bar’ experience.

    *Fun fact: In Bradford we have the UK’s only ‘M Local’ which is Morrisons’ attempt to crack the convenience store market, and it was open all day on New Year’s Day. That’s how I was able to buy a supermarket pizza on New Year’s Day.

  3. Jan 3rd isn’t depressing for #lufc fans! asda stonwbake is our monday night greasy guilty pleasure.

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