The place where pizza comes to be written about

Guest blog! Rosie Mullender on the joys of reheated pizza!

Pete says: Hi there! Pete here. One thing I am fond of doing is giving this blog over to writers who are better than I am, like my other half, the esteemed Rosemary Q. Mullender of Billericay, London England. In addition to being vastly my superior, she is also very patient when I behave like a dick too (last night, for example). And here she is now, explaining to you why pizza doesn’t have to be for the night, it can be for the next morning too. Take it away, Good Lady Wife…

Now doesn't that look fancy?

One of my longest-running rows with Mr Mullies, the owner of this illustrious blog, is that he has absolutely no respect for leftover pizza. Place a greasy box of fresh, hot pizza in front of him and he’ll treat it like the tenderest lover: gently plucking a slice from the box, smearing it with unctuous dip then groaning with pleasure as it slides down his gullet. But once he has had his fill and the pizza’s gone cold, he loses interest, leaving the leftovers to roll its eyes and sort itself out while he falls asleep in front of the telly.

It takes a few seconds to put some pizza on a plate and bung it in a fridge. It’s even quicker not to throw out dips that could be used next time Papa John’s forgets them. But Pete just doesn’t see the point of either of these things.

The morning after a pizza binge, I wake up, lick my lips at the thought of a slice of reheated pizza, and run to the kitchen. Then, like the little boy in The Snowman, I’m brought to my knees when I see my pizza, strewn with bacteria-riddled chicken, shrivelled up on the kitchen counter. In this very blog, in fact, Pete describes chucking out half a medium Dominos pizza BECAUSE IT’S GOT MEATBALLS ON IT AND CAN’T BE REHEATED. Like they’re glued on with that stuff in that advert with that man stuck to that aeroplane and can’t simply be plucked off.

Chances are, you’ve had some pretty rotten reheated pizza, and agree that it’s best to just bin it. Which seems crazy to me: half a large takeaway pizza is worth up to £9, and men – who, let’s face it, are the main consumers of pizza – will happily eat month-out-of-date sausages because “they’re the posh ones with bits in.” But if you treat leftover pizza right – seeing to its needs once your own have been satisfied – you can have a delicious meal in minutes. The trick is as follows:

1. When you’ve had your fill, wrap what’s left on a plate in clingfilm and bung it in the fridge. You shouldn’t need to save the dip – after all, you have spares, right?

2. The next day (or even three days later, the longest meat-pizza leftovers will safely keep), congratulate yourself on how clever you are, whack the oven up high, and take the pizza off the plate, allowing it to warm up to room temperature.

3. STOP LOOKING AT THE MICROWAVE. It is not your friend. Ditto the grill or toaster.

3. Put one slice of pizza per person on a middle shelf. Keep your eye on it, and when the crust starts to brown, tuck some foil around it. This will allow the cheese and meat to heat properly without the crust burning.

4. When the cheese is bubbling, pull your pizza off the rack, slide another slice on, and eat your pizza standing nonchalantly at the kitchen counter, possibly swigging from a bottle of Stella Cidre because that’s just the kind of guy you are.

5. Repeat step 4 until everything is gone. Yummers!

Of course, you can always eat your pizza cold, which is also nice, as long as you let it warm up a bit first – otherwise it’s way too chewy. Or, if you made your own pizza instead of ordering in, you can make the magnificent breakfast pizza with the leftovers. Bon appétit!

The author with two of her many celebrity lovers



Filed under: Guest drops

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