12inchpetetreat

The place where pizza comes to be written about

Movie And A Pizza #1: The Dead, accompanied by a Dominos stuffed crust with chicken strips and chorizo

So, I’ve decided that every Thursday evening is “pizza and a movie” night, not least because it will provide me with extra content once I’ve run out of ideas. Plus I am now duty-bound to have a pizza every week. So, to get the ball rolling, here is my review of The Dead, accompanied by a medium Dominos stuffed crust with sundried tomato and garlic sauce, chicken strips and chorizo.

The Dead is a zombie film, which means I like it as a matter of course, but it claims to be a zombie film with a difference, and in an age when most zombie films are a) not different at all and b) generally awful, I am willing to acknowledge that this claim is not misleading. It is set in a non-specific war-torn African state, and follows an American lieutenant and an African soldier in search of his son, as they try to make their way across parched grassland to a supposedly safe military base. The unforgiving conditions are as much the enemy as the shuffling, blank-eyed living dead, although substantially less likely to eat your face. The acting is a touch ropey, but there’s some quite spectacular gore to be enjoyed – I particularly liked the bit when our hero runs over one of his former, now-zombified colleagues and the latter’s head bursts – and a general air of creeping, encroaching unease created by the bland uniformity of the desert setting. Plus there are machetes in it.

Hello pizza. You were my dinner last night.

And now to the pizza. Ah, Dominos. Truly, as Kelly Rowland might say, when it comes to stuffed crusts, you are putting it down right now. Seriously, I defy anyone to nominate a better stuffed edge than the one they are proffering to the pizza community – and it is a community – right now. I had a pop at the sundried tomato and garlic sauce rather than regular pizza sauce last night too, and I can confirm that it is rather delightful, if not especially garlicky. But then that’s a good thing. The chicken strips are thick and generous, the chorizo pretty inoffensive and nondescript – but then you don’t want to be getting heartburn any way – and the two slices I left last night, made for a delightful heated-through breakfast this morning. Which reminds me, nobody kiss me today.

THE VERDICT

THE FILM: I think I will give The Dead 7.5 out of 10, rising to 8.5 whenever someone gets eaten.

THE PIZZA: I will give the pizza 8.5 out of 10, rising to 9 out of 10 whenever the crust came into play.

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Filed under: Movie And A Pizza

7 Responses

  1. Richard says:

    Makes good reading until an all to sudden craving for pizza kicks in at 10am.
    Out of curiosity are we getting to nominate pizza’s or movies in the near future? That way all your pre-selection work is done. Or maybe it’s just so we can watch you squirm with awful movie selection and strange pizza toppings.
    I’ll even let you pick a stand up topic for a routine.

  2. herrdaubs says:

    I’d like to see a Meateor coupled with some Norris/Seagal. MIA1, no, The Glimmer Man, which contains some A-class dialogue such as:

    Mr. Smith: He’s selling it to a bunch of Serbian freedom fighters.
    Campbell: You mean terrorists.
    Mr. Smith: Semantics. You say tomato…
    Campbell: No, motherfucker, I didn’t say tomato, I said terrorists.

  3. @Mullies says:

    Can I kiss you?

  4. Richard, you can nominate away but I reserve the right to refuse all awful things.

    Martin, I am going to do that very thing.

    Rosie, you know the answer to that question.

  5. herrdaubs says:

    I did a 24-hour DVD Seagal-a-thon for loaded, dressed as the man (well, silk kimono, pony tail wig and shades). Dominos was taken. I recall with total clarity it was a chicken combo meal: chicken strippers/wedges, avec 1/2 1/2 pepperoni passion/straight margerita for the lady – for me the purest hit they do. I’ll admit I had to send out for chemical assistance after the sixth straight movie. I defy any man not to be driven into the arms of the coca leaf on the back of Half Past Dead and a 3,000 calorie gorge. It’s strange what you notice about Seagal the more you look. For me, his head started to resemble a giant Brazil nut circa 2005’s frankly risible Today You Die.

  6. herrdaubs says:

    I’d like to do a feature “can you feast on sides alone?” Would a Dommy drop without the pizza be like sex without the orgasm? I’ve never done it, and it gives me the fear just thinking about it, but I’d be game.

  7. Do it, Martin. Do it like you mean it.

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