The place where pizza comes to be written about

Welcome, friends, to the meal that never ends

The nation celebrates a new, exciting blog about pizzas

Yes, just what the world needs: a blog in which a person writes about their love of pizza. That can’t have been done before, can it? Well, I can tell you that it HAS been done before(!!!) because I once tried it myself, in an ill-fated affair entitled Une Année Sans Pizza, in which I attempted to go one year without eating any pizza whatsoever, and managed to make it to three weeks before I gave up and put Pizza GoGo back on my speed-dial. I’d provide a link to the old blog, but frankly, I’m too ashamed. Three weeks. Pathetic.

Even so, I think I am qualified to write in a semi-humorous way about pizzas. I started eating them when I was 18 – I remember vividly my first one, a Big Breakfast from the now-defunct Gino’s of Wolverhampton, a spectacularly doughy affair topped with bacon, sausage and egg, which is now being more or less replicated twenty years down the line by Pizza Hut – and have had, I would estimate, a pizza every five days ever since. That means I have, allowing for leap years, consumed in the region of 1,830 pizzas in my lifetime, which means that a) I am a fat fucker, and b) I know what I am talking about.

So what are my hopes for Twelve Inch Pete Treat, the newest and most middlingly amusing pizza blog in the civilised world? Well, for one thing, I hope to avoid the “last night I went out and had a pizza and it was an okay pizza and I give the pizza 6.5 out of ten for the pizza” style of food blogging, in favour of something a little more esoteric (see next post). I also hope to scrub off the stain of failure that has clung to me ever since my Année Sans Pizza turned out to be simply Trois Semaines Sans Pizza, followed quickly by Beaucoup Des Nuits Avec Pizzas. And, I must admit, I hope to get lots of free pizza out of it – my girlfriend does her own, vastly superior blog about burritos and seems to get invited along to burrito joints for free tastings all the time, and I could certainly do with getting a bit of that action. You know, recession and that. But above all, I just want to get back to writing about what I love. And I love pizzas. Lordy, do I ever.

You can Tweet me at @tweetcashmore and leave fattist abuse here.


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7 Responses

  1. Ben says:

    Dear Mr Peter, I’m afraid that wasn’t the first time you had pizza – if memory serves you had pizza was the first time I had pizza. They were oversized slices of (what we would call today) margarita pizza served on segmented white plastic trays at CM School. Remember?

  2. Nope, I didn’t eat pizza until I was 18 and working in a petrol station, as I was afraid of cheese.

  3. Caroline says:

    Do you remember the Teenage Mutuant Ninja Turtle-branded pizzas that Tesco used to sell in the 80s/early 90s? They were quite literally green – the topping was green pepper and apple and the sauce on the base was green. I dread to think what was in it – I think you should try to track one down!

  4. Caroline says:

    In the interests of avoiding work, I have found evidence that these pizzas existed! The worst thing is, I actually used to quite like them. I was about nine though.

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